Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps.

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 4:50 am

Pedobot screams rape

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 4:56 am

Yea... I'm so not getting involved...

*Walks off to the outskirts of the town*

Admin Posts : 99 Join date : 2010-08-23

KrylanceloFinrandi wrote:: After having chocked on shit, and a mouth full of shit, the bard gets on his knees and looks up at the sky, as he mentally plays ABBA's "Dancing Queen" while he prays.

"God, I've been brought into this world, and I do my duty well, singing songs for travelers, and all I want right now is to attempt to fist this lowly hobgoblins anus, please just pull his pants down so I can put my luck in my own abilities to fist his anus. This is a humble request from a shit mouthed stick figure bard."

A loud rumbling is heard as the god of music floats down. His glorious form bringing even the straightest man to orgasm. His form is of Michael Bolton. The chorus of gods can be heard for miles.

The bards pants drop, as the mighty fist of Michael Bolton slams into the bards ass.
Roll(100d100)+0:
53,13,25,33,5,27,35,28,22,85,46,90,25,2,29,36,77,37,71,44,35,11,9,12,9,23,87,43,81,33,81,90,61,84,73,21,35,64,92,9,31,56,49,72,99,3,26,20,36,31,29,46,96,55,4,40,55,97,54,45,60,86,45,1,74,89,49,53,72,80,60,91,11,100,5,28,16,67,80,67,74,65,85,33,48,20,50,97,100,99,21,92,100,58,39,67,56,48,29,93,+0
Total:5088
The bard takes 5088 unmodified Bolton damage. His anus explodes into a mist of musical blood.

Michael Bolton stands before kenny as he gifts him the guitar of ages.

Posts : 91 Join date : 2010-08-23 Age : 29

"Fuck yeah!"

Kenny attempts to play a song, only to find that it has no strings.

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:03 am

"Release me slug of slime!"

Posts : 91 Join date : 2010-08-23 Age : 29

Kenny walks up to the nearest NPC.

"Got any quests?"

Admin Posts : 99 Join date : 2010-08-23

"Not here friend, blessed be thou. My advice to thee is to collect thine materials and venture forth into the beyond."

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:09 am

*Sitting on a log a bit away from town, smoking his cigarette while laying down in the field*

What freaks...

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:09 am

Pedobot goes to the nearest doctor and gets himself healed.

Pedobot then pulls the duck mask and snaps it back on his face and runs away, quacking

Posts : 91 Join date : 2010-08-23 Age : 29

"Thanks, finally something to do."

Kenny runs to the zombie outside of town.

"Hey, we're going to leave shortly. You want to help me get Pedobot or what?

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:12 am

The... what?

*The cig falls from his mouth*

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:12 am

pedobot runs up to kenny and the guy who broke that glass of yummy

yelling

"QUACK...bitches"

Posts : 91 Join date : 2010-08-23 Age : 29

"... Well that solves that. LET'S GOOOOOoooooooo... oooo......oo."

They wonder down the road leading west.

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:15 am

... Something tells me I should follow you...

*Gets up, and lights another sig*

Whatever...

Admin Posts : 99 Join date : 2010-08-23

They would travel for a few hours. Before coming across a broken down carriage. There seems to be a wounded old man sitting beside it. He looks like he was robbed. His features would give a rough age of 70 or older.

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:18 am

Hey old man.

*Kicks the body lightly*

You dead?

Posts : 91 Join date : 2010-08-23 Age : 29

"Probably, people don't tend to live past 30 these days."

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:20 am

Pedobot loads the child's broken arm into my bow and shoots the arm at the old man

"IM NOT A PUPPY ANYMORE AM I, HUH DAD!?"

Admin Posts : 99 Join date : 2010-08-23

(Wait you actually took the childs arm)
Getting smacked in the face with the arm he flails and crys a little.
"Help me good sirs. I need some food. I was robbed and I don't have a way back to town"

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:22 am

We ain't got no-

*Watches the arm hit the old man.*

Here. Eat that.

Posts : 91 Join date : 2010-08-23 Age : 29

"Only if you fix the bridge. We could bring you back to town for care until then."

Admin Posts : 99 Join date : 2010-08-23

"The' fuck are you talking about! I won't eat this, a bridge. What is wrong with you people. We are nowhere near water. Just take me to northfall, it's just down the road"

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:25 am

Fine... I can use the snack.

*Picks up the arm and takes a bite out of it*

Subject: Re: Ledgend of zelda oot I mean gurps. Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:27 am

Pedobot picks up the child's limb and smacks the old man in the face

"THEN WHY DID YOU NOT JUST WALK THERE!? YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF ANYTHING DAD THATS WHY MOM LEFT YOU AND MY BROTHER WAS A CHILD MOLESTER..."

"LIKE MEEEEEE" Pedobot falls to the ground and crys

Posts : 91 Join date : 2010-08-23 Age : 29

Kenny grabs the man.

"You'll stick around until you CAN make a bridge."

They continue walking.

» Gurps quest number 1.
» Gurps quest two. A quest for the derpies